Just found the downside to highrise living...

So admittedly I slept in a bit and that I take responsibility for...BUT taking an additional 30+ minutes to get to my car once I left my apartment - that is all the fault of the highrise!!! Want a recap? Oh you just try and stop me.

I finally get myself out of bed, shower and get ready - running a little late, but hey - it's Friday and my first meeting isn't until noon. Gather up my laptop bag and my diet coke, grab my keys and head out to the elevators. Now I've long since dreamed of an elevator call button inside my apartment or a graphical representation of exactly where the elevators are at any moment, but for the most part my lazy self feels worth it to wait a minute or two for moving transportation that will save me 24 flights of stairs. At least until this morning.

So as usual I hit the call button and wait for my chariot...and wait...and wait...and wait... Ok, I hear someone in one of the shafts so they're probably working on one of them so we're down to 2 ellies. Fine. I wait and wait - well, what the heck, I'll go ahead and put on my earrings while I wait...ok that's done. I'll open my coke - ahhhh the refreshment. Still waiting. Ahha! It's arrived! I guess it was worth the wait.

Now normally I'll make it down to the parking deck easily on the express - and occasionally I'll have 1 or 2 passengers join me along the way, so no worries when it stops on 19. Guy gets on. Ok, smile smile, still early - but don't talk to me because I'm not a morning person, so just look at the floor or at the numbers slowly decreasing as we plunge downward... What? Another stop on 17 already? Fine. Oh great, it's a maintenance guy with a cart - you know what that means - another stop in one more floor. Kriepe. 16 he gets off. Ok seriously?? Another stop on 14??? FINE. 3 more people, all carrying blankets, which begins a semi-conversation - "ah, had to wait so long you were afraid you'd fall asleep so you came prepared, eh?". Haha. Let's get a moving folks.

Seriously?? ANOTHER STOP? Ok people I could have walked up and down 24 flights 3 times by now. Whatever. Ok, this ellie is packed. No more stops, please no more stops. WHAT??? Another stop? We're already full!! "he, he", I think - I have control of the door close button and it's so full no one can see me discretely hit the button before the idiots can try to squeeze in. "he, he". WHAAAAAAAAAT? Thwarted by the friendly guy with the blankets??? NOOOOOOOOOOOO. Fine. Please be only 1 person, please be only 1 person - and for the love of the Lord above, please no dogs!!!

Dammit. A dog. A big friggin golden retriever. FINE. and 3 people - I mean does it really take 3 people to walk the dang dog?? You're all just testing me now people! But we're finally on 6 and I'm feeling lucky - one more stop and I'll be good to go.

Then just as I was starting to calm myself down with some deep breathing, it happens. You've GOT to be kidding me. I left my friggin phone in my friggin apartment. You've got to be kidding me! On a day with only 1 ellie working, 15 minutes invested in the process - seriously??? So I spend the next 5 flights debating the pros and 1 HUGE con for actually taking this entire rigmarole all over again.

P1. I'm finally here. What to do, what to do? Oh no, I'm supposed to go see a local band with Joe tonight and I'm sure to get lost and I'll really be kicking myself if I don't have my phone. Dammit. I've got to do it.

Wait for it - wait for it - deep breath, hit the button.

This stinks. Get on, press 23. Deep breath. Besides, surely everyone in the entire building who wanted to go anywhere was on the last train...... Fine. stop on the lobby level -that's to be expected. Fine, get in you apartment viewers and you leasing agents, fine. (I bet they even had an appointment - losers.) Ok another explanation about the ellies again - heaven forbid the potential renters think this is usual, so let's all laugh it off as you pull the curtain over their eyes wiz.... OH and did I mention another friggin dog got on at the lobby? Now you all know that I have a terrible dirty secret that could get me stoned in certain crowds - I'm not a dog fan. And you know what happens in highrises? People have to take their dog in the elevator and outside to let them take care of business. Well you know what happens in Seattle??? IT RAINS. Do you know how much I hate the smell of wet dog??? Now add that smell to the other 5 people trapped in a tight elevator with little to no air circulation and it's practically my hades on earth.

But I digress - fine. They're going to 6. I can deal with that. Of course we stop on 5 and another leasing agent with another looker. And he's the annoying one. Oh no, he tells everyone, "there really are 2 working -it's just that when 1 ellie is down, then one of the others only goes down and the other only goes up." "ahhh", the riders say. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? THAT REALLY MAKES SENSE TO YOU PEOPLE??? Guess I'll just stay on this one then because I'm headed right through the roof just like Willy Wanka I suppose. Idiot.

So 4 more stops and I'm FINALLY back on 23. I prepare for my takeoff and return - I cleverly hit 27, the highest floor in the building. You see that way, I'll run to my apt, grab my phone, and be back in time to catch it on it's way back down (assuming this ellie will actually come back down at some point and not fly out the roof). I'm so smart.

Ready? got my key ready.
Set? it's about to stop...
Go!

I run as fast as my heeled sandals will let me, trying not to spill my coke or toss the laptop in the wall - quickly stick in the key (leaving it in for efficiency's sake), grab the phone, run out, lock it, run back over to the ellies and hit the down button. Did I get it?? My heart is racing. Please, please, please let me catch it. DOOOOHHHH I hear it pass by. Dangit! My plan was missing one action item - I should have hit the down button BEFORE I ran to my apartment! Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaangiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit.

Fine. I'll wait. I'll squat down on my heels, catch my breath and friggin wait again. Seriously people, it's taken so long my coke is almost gone. Dang I hate this place.

No less than 10 minutes later, my chariot arrives. 2 people already onboard complaining about the wait - if they only knew........

Now I won't put you through the entire rest of my trip - but needless to say it took me a loooong time to get back down.

Finally to P1, keys in hand, ready to bust this joint. What? Seriously??? ANOTHER guy jumping in front of me to get off first? Seriously. I miss southern gentlemen SO MUCH. Sure, the bank was a slow moving beast filled with old people and old technology , but I don't think I EVER had a guy leave an elevator or door before me. But that happens ALL the time up here - talk about rude! I swear the next time another guy jumps in front of me I WILL knee him in the nuts.

Seriously. Get some manners people! And I tell you what, if you could get all 3 elevators working while you're at it - that'd be great.