If you'll allow me one more rant - this is getting ridiculous. Me talk English two u know. We live in the same country!! Stop pinging and syncing and hard stopping and dropping darn it. Enough about your "perners" (because apparently emplID's and empl stats mean NOTHING up here - literally blank stares as if one couldn't piece it together at all - it's all about personnel numbers). I mean no one has even used the word "personnel" since the more PC "HR" came along decades ago and CERTAINLY techies use ID's instead of numbers?!?! Furthermore, I know every company thinks they use a lot of acronyms and they all think they use more than the average bear (ie. Hewitt's acronym for their acronym dictionary, which thankfully I have forgotten), but this is over the top. ROM's are rough orders of magnitudes (I mean are they TRYING to sound intelligent??), they UAT instead of test, they have CSP's and JTT's and MMM's; SPSA's and IP SPSA's (and yes, they actually say "S-P-S-A's-AND-I-P-S-P-S-A's" because heaven forbid they just say STOCK even though it usually has to be said twice because the first time they said it they are bound to switch around at least one or two of the letters but can't let it go), I am working on CMAT, CBC, and even P@M which has nothing to do with email at all. Weesh! Well LMNOP people! Trust me people - you sound smart enough, start talkin' english like I like it!
My boss actually said to me on my second day here, mid sentence in one of our touchbases, "HEY! I just heard your southern accent! Have you been hiding it??". Umm. No? I don't have a southern accent, thank you. You should meet my friends from mac-rae and carpel-tunnel gaw-ga. THEY have southern accents. In fact - I'm thinkin' 'bout talkin' extra real southern just to prove me my point. Then it would be THEY who didn't understand ME! HA! "How'syourmomandthem?" "'djaeatyet?" "Let's go muddin' ya'll!" "I'm gonna put on my hills and go walk up that heel to buy me some whoopin' cream and me-elk" (I miss you Glee!!!)
I'm putting it on my agenda tonight to memorize every single line from each of the blue collar comedy tours ASAP. In fact, maybe I'll just play them in my office 24/7. See how it feels people? Don't feel like you're in your own country anymore do ya now??
Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to the library to find Bre'r Rabbit.... because frankly my dear, I don't give a damn.
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3 comments:
yay! me and glee anneigh made the blog - i would have prefered an entry where we didn't come off as hicks/necks, but i'll take it :) shout out to Tennille, GA (or carpal tunnel as you say)!
ummmmm, btw, you do have a bit of an accent, darling. and you shouldn't hide it (if that's what you were trying to do)! it's endearing and sexy and sweet AND it sets you apart. don't just use it, turn it up a notch!
acronyms - i think you should casually drop "wtf?" in a conversation and see if it registers.
a few phrases to add to your list which i freaking love, btw):
over yonder
fixin' to
bless her heart! (but already say this one!)
kinfolk
fishin (or "feeshin")
all right, miss scarlett, it's time for you to get back on your sass horse and confuse the hell out of your new work peeps.
miss you tons,
RG
You know you have a wonderfully funny and touching book here! At least a syndicated column!!! We all have been the new kid on the block and you remind us to how good it feels to laugh about it. Good medicine!!
I love you
Mom
PS You could get them all camo baseball caps (bill wrapped round campbell soup can ) w/fish hook for Christmas!! oh fiddleeedee !! I'll worry bout that tomorrow.
PSS mbo&o, imy
Blasphemy! You do not have a southern accent. Seriously, I can’t think of hearing one out of those lips except when teasing me or JC^2.
I was on the edge of my seat as I read about the acronyms… I was anxiously awaiting the LMNOP bomb. And there it was! Woo Hoo!!! I learned a new ac the other day but it wasn’t new to others. I even called J at work and he laughed at me. (Rosie laughed too.) PITA. Oh, here’s one to use FWOT.
Next time they ask where you went to school, say “North Avenue Trade School”. If they aren’t willing to recognize the prestige of MaTech and are going to accuse you of being a hick, then you might as well make them think MS hired a hick from a trade school. Hell, like Hewitt hiring those DeVry peeps.
Confuse them more by suddenly not understanding English and start practicing your German… but you must use the southern accent. You know that German colony in south GA.
Okay. I have to work. Keep it coming. While it’s frustration to you, it entertainment for the lame sucks like me.
-Gleigh Anneigh
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